Oh my luck, it does suck!

You know about my dreadful car experiences over the past couple weeks, what I forgot to tell you is that when the service center shuttle picked me up last night: he first forgot to call me when he was on his way. He called me right when he was here which made me rush out and I forgot my returns for the dreaded mega store and had to come back to the office to pick them up after getting the loaner PT Cruiser. Not too bad, right? But then the shuttle driver decided to pass someone waiting to make a left turn on our way back to the service center. So what you might think. Well, he passed the left turner on the left side!! There is a turn lane at this particular area; however it is hard to determine if it's a turn lane to get into the gas station on the left side of the road or a turn lane for left turners at the light - they are very close together. This particular left turner decided the turn lane was only for the light and didn't get into the turn lane. So Mr. Shuttle Driver, brilliant man that he was, uses the turn lane to pass the person waiting to make the left turn. Arrrggg! That was a "smash me to bits" moment that almost happened.

Okay, you've probably had enough about the car to last your entire lifetime. So now on to this afternoon. I had a haircut scheduled for 12:15. I only get my hair cut about twice a year because it's a hassle to go over and do it, plus it's expensive. Anyway, I get to the salon and tell them I have a 12:15 appointment with Carrie. The receptionist looks all confused and says, "Carrie? Are you sure?" I tell her I am and she starts putting info into her computer and finds that yes, I have a 12:15 appointment with Carrie, but so does some Marsha person. Well, skippy for Marsha, but I was there early, so there! I got my hair cut by Carrie, but had to switch stations for the blow dry.

I know, I know, not horrendous, but it just adds to my bad luck streak lately. I'm ready to go home and sit in my recliner and not move until this black cloud moves on to someone else.

Oh, and what is up with Google today? My email logs me off, it won't save or spell check my blog posts and reader is always 'loading.' Google gets my first 'Big Eye Roll' in a long time!!

Blah Morning

Well, I did not win the standing mixer from Pioneer Woman, but oh well. I got to thinking yesterday, I barely use my hand mixer (not much of a baker) so do I really need to use up counter space on a standing mixer? If it was free, sure, otherwise, probably not. What I do need is a really good set of knives...

More drama with my car: I finally got a call from Sherry at the service center yesterday at about the time I am supposed to head home for the day. Apparently, one of the parts they put in on one of my cars previous visits was "bad." They are now going to replace that part. When Sherry called, she asked if that was okay? I told her fine, but I needed my car that night to get home. Well, they had the thing all tore apart, so it was not going to be done last night. (What choice did I really have then?) So today I am driving a "loaner" PT Cruiser. The car itself is okay, but someone with children obviously had it before me and the service center did not clean it before I took it out. There are toys on the floor and stains on the seats - it's kind of yucky. I also thought as pay back to the service center I was going to use as much of their gas as possible while I have this loaner. But guess what, I am supposed to return the thing with as much gas as it had when I took it, so there goes that idea. I'm actually going to have put some gas in the thing. (It had less than a quarter of a tank when I took it and now the gas light is on - I do not have good luck with car lights...)

Plus I was not all that inspired to do the Sunshine Studio Scraps challenge last night, but I did it and already had a comment on my layout this morning, so that put a little light in this blah morning. Let's see how the rest of the day goes.

Sunshine Studio Scraps Challenge #6

This one was a journal challenge - definitely a little more difficult for me since I don't journal a lot on my scrap pages. We had to journal something to do with spring cleaning. I took a little liberty with the theme.

~Credits~
photos are from my 2005 trip to China
background papers, frame, flower elements from 'A Day in the Garden' by the Sunshine Studio Scraps group
ring frames around the photos from 'Asian Fusion' by Ziggle Designs

Car Service Place

This is a snarky post - a hate post even - about the place that is currently servicing my car. Also known as the place that has serviced my car three times now in the past 2.5 weeks.

I dropped my car off at 7:30 AM so they can once again try to determine why the check engine light is on. They are supposed to call me on my cell phone once said problem is known. So I wait, and wait, and wait... finally about 3:15 PM I decide I'm tired of waiting so I call over to the service place and ask for "Sherry" who is supposed to be working on my car (and has worked on it the previous two times it was there).

It always takes some time for Sherry to get to the phone, but finally she comes on. I tell her who I am and that I am calling to check on my car. She is all, "ummm, hmmm" and finally spits out that some hose is leaking, that they've run a smoke test, and "he" (whoever he is) is working on it. I ask Sherry how much this is going to cost and she is all "umms" and "hmms" again and then says, "Nothing yet, we haven't found the leak yet."

But Sherry, I thought you just told me:

1. a hose is leaking
2. you ran a smoke test
3. "he" is working on it

So what the hell is "he" doing to my car?! I am doomed to be stuck in my office all night - M. is going to a political thingy with his folks tonight and won't be home until late. I hate, hate, hate the service center - and Sherry!

Little Snark, Lots of 'Net Perusing

I have been busy at work today, but found a little downtime to look at some links from Mental Floss and to type up this post, which I am sure has been much anticipated by my faithful readers.

I found some interesting things through this morning's dose of links. Here are some my readers might be interested in:

• Bugs can be snarky too, especially when you look at electron photographs of them. I personally think the Spiny Assassin Bug is the snarkiest. Do you think he's an assassin because he's snarky?
• This was quite amusing: 15 Pet Products We Can't Believe Exist from Cracked.com. #6 kind of got to me - that dog looks like the crystal encrusted dress it is wearing makes it snarky. It would make me snarky. #4 is also quite funny - be a slut wearing your itty bitty doggie, or try slapping a great dane on your front side.
• Radar Magazine brings us some letters written by Billy Geerhart (a 30-something posing as a 10 year old) to various famous and infamous characters - including several serial killers. Anyone else think it is odd that the Night Stalker starts his letters just like bossman?! Anyone else at work think his signature looks a little like bossman's too? Weird! Also, I sure am glad I don't have to type Mr. Charles Manson's letters! (people who work with me will appreciate these little snarkies about the letters more than other readers...)
• And for more interesting insect fun, check out how one artist is helping arachnids beautify their homes, even if they don't appreciate it!

I will now let you get back to whatever you might have been doing and I will get on with my typing up of letters and such.

New Post Category

Due to my lasagna disaster last weekend and my quest for a recipe book/binder in which to keep my recipes grouped together, I have decided that I need a cooking-type label for my blog. Welcome 'Snarky Kitchen.' (By the way, I like the single quotation mark better than the double, even if I'm not using it correctly!)

I used to cook a lot when I lived with my parents because mom is a nurse and used to work 3rd shift at a hospital on the surgical recovery floor. She had left for work by the time we got home from school and wouldn't arrive home until after we'd gone to bed. I never appreciated how well-stocked mom's kitchen was until I moved out and had to buy my own kitchen supplies. My cooking and kitchen experimentation kind of went to the wayside for several years because I never seemed to have the right stuff.

M. gets 'burnt out' on foods we have several times, at least the pre-cooked freezer to oven boxes and fast food dinners. Perhaps my cooking will survive the M. burn out? We'll have to wait and see. Because of M.'s burn out on many of the dinners we were having and because I had discovered on of my now favorite websites - Pioneer Woman Cooks - I decided to start using my kitchen (since we built a house a couple years ago I have a pretty nice kitchen) and cooking again. One major downfall to this is that we actually have to do grocery shopping on a fairly regular basis, but because I love to be praised and hear how wonderful I am, the reactions from M. when I make a good meal are a good trade-off. And M. does come grocery shopping with me, so there's that too. If you've been a fan of my blog long enough you know I get the social anxiety and do not like to go shopping by myself.

So this weekend I made some very yummy chicken salad (but I had made that before and knew M. enjoys it) and I made a new experimental dinner last night - beefy potato skillet. M. seemed to like that okay too. I will post my chicken salad recipe some other time since I am not home and do not have access to it at the moment. For my beefy potato skillet I used PW's basic breakfast potatoes (minus any onions or garlic since M. and I don't really like those, also no bacon grease) and added some ground beef. It was nice and easy. Plus, I've always liked those side potatoes places like Denny's or IHOP use and these were kind of like that.

I decided on Sunday that even though I had not found a beautiful fillable recipe book yet I was going to start typing up my favorite recipes on 4x6 cards. This must have led to some good luck in the book/binder quest because I also had a break through in my quest for a book to keep all my recipes. And of course I found it on Amazon.com! It's not really an Amazon product, it's through a company called Organize.com. I briefly perused their website this weekend and that is not a website I should be going to! I love organizational products and could spend thousands and thousands of $$ there. Plus they tried to entice my with all these $5 and $10 off deals, but of course if you read the fine print you needed to spend $50 to get the $5 off... M., just so you know, I only purchased the recipe binder, and I did it through Amazon. M. knows about my closeted shopping addiction - but only for online shopping. We might be rich if not for the development of online shopping since I hate to go shopping in actual real life stores.

Oh, and low and behold, Pioneer Woman is giving away a Kitchen Aid standing mixer and what have I been thinking I needed as an addition to my kitchen? Yes, yes, yes - a standing mixer! So wish me luck. PW uses random.org to chose her winners, so I have as good a chance as anyone...

Blog Neglect & The Monday Morning Snark

I am seriously guilty of blog neglect the past week. Things at work just seemed to move at a hectic pace this past week. I even started a blog post on Wednesday and never finished it. Perhaps I will rework it for later this week.

From this weekend: M. purchased a new weed eater because our Craftsman weed eater is a dud. We now have an electric one, which I used to think was stupid - who wants to drag a cord all over the yard? Well, with the ever-rising gas prices and considering the size of our yard, it made more sense to get the electric. That is not the snark. On the way to pick up the weed eater I inadvertently braked a little later than usual at a red light. No, I did not crash into any other cars, however it circumvented M.'s "coast as long as you can to save gas rule." I am all for saving gas and do try to do what I can to drive sensibly and save as much as possible, but I do not want to hear "You just lost $.50" every time I accelerate a bit faster or brake a bit harder than the gas-saving bible dictates. So M. got a good dose of my snarky side and I refused to go into Sears with him. We were fine again by the time we got to PetSmart to pick up the cat litter and a new poop scoop.

In other weekend news, I finished both Stardust and What the Dead Know. Stardust was okay, the movie was a bit better, in my opinion. That seems to be my opinion a lot lately when I see the book-based movie or show prior to reading the book. What the Dead Know was fantastic! I have been waiting to check it out from the library for some time because I read a review on it somewhere. The library has several books by the author, Laura Lippman, but I didn't want to try any of those until I read What the Dead Know. Now that I finally have read it and really enjoyed it I will have to pick up some more Laure Lippman books next time I'm in the library.

Monday morning: The weekend snark was probably precipitated by the fact that on our way to Sears to pick up the weed eater the evil orange check engine light once again came on in my 300M. M. and I were both pretty snarky about that considering we just had the car into the service shop twice in the past two weeks for the same problem! M. will be calling the service shop this morning to do as he says, "rip them a new asshole." I hope he doesn't tear a hole too big, I still need these people to fix my car!

I know, not as snarky as usual, but the day has just begun and with that evil orange light staring at me all the way to work this morning anything can happen... stay tuned.

Sunshine Challenge #5

Criteria for Sunshine Studio Scraps challenge #5 is that the layout must include one heart-shaped photo. Here's my layout featuring our niece.

Papers and elements from Shauna Burke-Smith's 'Preppy' collection

Too Many Hands in Too Many Pots

Here at my office we're supposed to have different email distribution lists to send problems to depending on the nature of the problem. This is a good idea - in theory. In practice when you have an organization as small as ours (especially since the downsizing), several people end up on all the lists (even if they don't need to be or shouldn't be). Plus, there has been a lot of confusion about which lists gets used when because it can change from staff meeting to staff meeting. All frustrating not only for me, but for all who work here.

Example from today: An issue about a part of our website tied to our database went to the distribution list made up of 'semi-higher ups' and the 'higher ups' (which is just about everyone in the building). Anyway, bossman is now going to bring up the issue at our meetings tomorrow because apparently it went to the wrong list. But there are several issues I snark at about this:

• From the nature of the issue and what has been told to staff in the past, it was not clear which list the issue should have gone to (personally, I think sender was pretty save using the list they used since everyone who needed to know about the issue was on that list)
• Bossman seems to think the issue came up because he was not in the loop with what was done - well, yes he was he worked with the person who completed the project and it has even been presented to staff in a general staff meeting.
• Instead of focusing on resolving the issue that was emailed, the focus is now on the fact that it was sent to the wrong distribution list
• We don't have it clearly documented anywhere which distribution list gets what issue, instead we seem to rely on staff remembering from staff meetings where this was discussed. Well, I remember practically everything and different things have been said at different meetings, so it depends on which meeting the particular staff member is remembering.
• Since the fact this issue went to the "wrong" list and this is going to be brought up in a meeting, people will become discouraged and are more prone to not send issues to anyone. Things will fester and eventually the whole infrastructure collapses...

Perhaps the last bit was a little dramatic, but seriously, the issue of focus is not the issue we should be concentrating on... We need to simplify, document, and then proceed. When we have too many hands in too many pots there is room for too much interpretation and then the pot becomes a cesspool.

All Gangly

A few years ago I noticed I had bump in my left wrist right below the base of my thumb. It was painful if I bumped it on something and since I am left-handed, I was prone to bump it every now and then. I get squeamish about the stupidest things. Give me all sorts of blood and gore, doesn't bother me, even if I'm eating. However, pull your eye lids down in front of me, flip them up, poke an eye, whatever and I have to look away. Same thing with this seemingly innocuous bump in my wrist.

So I decided to go see our family doctor about the bump in my left wrist. I do not live in my home state - I live in M.'s home state in the same area he grew up in. When I moved here with him his doctor became my doctor. M. really likes this doctor, and I don't blame him since Dr. U pretty much saved M.'s live. So, thanks for that Dr. U, but I've never really been 100% comfortable with him, so I was not eager to go see him about my bump. But I did go see him, just in case it was some kind of malignant tumor that needed to be immediately excised from my wrist rendering my unable to write or type since I am left-handed. (I could pretty much do everything else since the only thing I do with the left hand is write, so maybe I'm not left-handed, I don't know, I've always been considered left-handed... I digress...)

Dr. U didn't do much (although I paid the full office visit fee, which kind of sucked). He basically looked at it, he might have felt the bump, I don't remember, and told me what I had was a ganglion cyst. I had never heard of a ganglion cyst before that moment and to, ganglion cyst sounded pretty scary. It sounded kind of like some kind of alien life form had taken residence in my wrist. I almost wanted to tell Dr. U to grab his scalpel and cut the thing out. Instead, I asked him what that meant, and he probably briefly explained it to me, again, I don't remember. What I do remember is that he said it was my decision whether or not to have it removed. Basically, it wouldn't do me any harm, but if it bothered me Dr. U could refer me to a specialist. Well, paying the bill for some specialist sounded even scarier than some alien in my wrist, so I decided to keep my little ganglion. I call it Herve - no, not really.

So over the years I have lived with my ganglion cyst and once in awhile it bothers me, some times it hurts, but usually it's just there. Then last week I noticed a sharp pain in my right wrist. Low and behold, there was an almost identical bump in my right wrist to match my left! So I am guessing I have another ganglion cyst, this time in my right wrist. Instead of driving down to see Dr. U, I went to good old reliable WebMD for some information on my newest visitor.

In helping me identify exactly what a ganglion cyst is, WebMD was much more helpful than Dr. U.

A ganglion cyst is a tumor or swelling on top of a joint or the covering of a tendon (tissue that connects muscle to bone). It looks like a sac of liquid (cyst). Inside the
cyst is a thick, sticky, clear, colorless, jellylike material. Depending on the
size, cysts may feel firm or spongy.

Well, eeww! It does kind of sound like some alien creature. I also learned the following from WebMD that made me feel a little better, but did nothing for Herve and his new twin:

One large cyst or many smaller ones may develop. Multiple small cysts can give
the appearance of more than one cyst, but a common stalk within the deeper
tissue usually connects them. This type of cyst is not harmful and accounts for
about half of all soft tissue tumors of the hand. Ganglion cysts, also known as
Bible cysts, are more common in women, and 70% occur in people between the
ages of 20-40. Ganglion cysts most commonly occur on the back of the hand
(60-70%), at the wrist joint and can also develop on the palm side of the wrist.
When found on the back of the wrist, they become more prominent when the wrist
is flexed forward.

Yep, that pretty much describes what I have going on in both wrists. However, when it came to telling me how to resolve the pain inflicted by these little boogers, WebMD was not much more helpful than Dr. U. Basically, WebMD told me that in the past people would break the cysts by pounding them with a large book (like the Bible - also called 'Bible Therapy'). WebMD does not recommend I do this because it could cause further injury to the wrist. Gee, you think? Thanks, WebMD. Any solutions for what might help the pain and not cause me further problems?

WebMD suggests some remedies that involve doctors - having the cyst drained with a syringe, injection of an anti-inflammatory, or surgical removal. Basically, the only advice WebMD could give me that did not involve calling up Dr. U or some other doctor was gentle massage can help alleviate the pain. Well, I asked M. to rub my wrist and he really doesn't like to touch the alien thing either, and can I blame him since I don't even like looking at them? And more importantly, how do I snark at blobs of jellylike material in my wrists?! People might find me a little crazy if they came into my office and I was holding up both wrists and telling them how much I hate them...

More Snarkiness for Your Enjoyment

Okay, with my post this morning I had very little to snark about - even though I found a way to make that post very long... Well, if I had waited just a few more hours I could have been a very, very long post indeed.

M. and I traded in M.'s Dodge Ram pickup last October due to fuel efficiency (the thing had none) and because we really don't need a truck. I ended up getting the newer car even though we traded in M.'s truck. That's just how much of a sweetie he is (well, most of the time). The car I am now driving is a Chrysler 300M and I love that car. What I do not love is the dealership who sold it to us.

We ended up going to the same dealership that we got our previous two vehicles from - the Dodge Ram and a Buick Regal that M. is now driving. The sales were okay, but not enough that I would have said I would never buy another vehicle anywhere else. It just happened they had a car I really liked (it wasn't white, had a sunroof, and leather seats) and they ended up giving us the price we wanted plus the trade-in value we wanted on the truck. So, you think, everything is hunky dory? Well, no. As soon as I drove off the lot the night we purchased the thing the check engine light popped on. I checked the car's manual and since it was the solid light and not the flashy one, the manual recommended I drive it for a few "regular driving cycles" and if it remained on to get it serviced. So I drove it for a few days and that light stay on the entire time. Luckily, the car was under a 30 day warranty and we got the catalytic converter replaced for free. Check engine light off.

I drove the car until early this month and then that check engine light popped back on. I drove it for a few days, it stayed on. I had just gotten an oil change at a different service place, so I called and made an appointment for a diagnostic test for the following Saturday. Drove the car, drove the car, and then Friday, check engine light goes off. Great! I cancel my Saturday appointment.

The very next Tuesday, once again there is that darn orange check engine light staring at me. So I drive it a couple days and it's not going off, so I call the service center at the dealership we got the car from. About $400 later I have a new cylinder thingy and some kind of new pump. Car should be happy, check engine light should be appeased.

That was about a week ago. I got in my car this morning to go get the lenses for my glasses put in and there is that evil orange light. I was going to wait until after I had my lunch to call the service center yet again, so I called M. to tell him about the light and how pissed off I am. He sympathizes and tells me he's sleepy. I tell him poor you and get off the phone so I can stew in snarky rage over that stupid light. I decided I am not waiting to call that darn service center, so I find the number in my 'recent numbers' on my cell and call them up. "Service center, this is LilSeed. I had my Chrysler 300M in about a week ago because the check engine light was on." Service center remembers me. "Well, it's on again." Service center seems stumped and asks when I can bring it in. So tomorrow morning I make another trip to drop off my car and then wait to be shuttled back to work and wait anxiously for them to run another diagnostic test on my poor 300M.

Add to that I checked out the mega store where I got my lenses to see if they had the kind of cookbook I wanted and did they? Did they? Of course they didn't. One stop shopping my ass. I did get my index cards, but have yet to have any kind of book to put them in.

I hate the service center and the mega store.

The Monday Morning Snark

Hello all my faithful readers - at least I do know I have a few at work, and M. even put the Snark Chronicles on his link toolbar thingy in his web browser!

From this weekend:
Not too much to snark at over the weekend - it was a pretty good weekend. Nice enough weather, M. did his chore of mowing the yard and helped with the laundry. We finished watching the second season of Dexter and watched the movie Atonement.

The biggest problem was my own fault. I made lasagna. Now normally, this would be a wonderful thing, especially for M. who really likes lasagna and I never make it. Well, Pioneer Woman put a lasagna recipe on her cooking blog awhile back and I printed it out so I could make some tasty lasagna once we went grocery shopping (a chore we both hate, so we can make our meager dwindling supplies last for weeks on end).

Well, we had gone grocery shopping and the fridge was all stocked up. I set to making the lasagna Saturday evening. I was well into boiling noodles, mixing meat and herbs, making the whole house smell like Italian goodness when I realized I was missing a vital ingredient - mozzarella cheese! It was too late to go back, so I muddled on and replaced the mozzarella with Parmesan (using up all our Parmesan in the process). Once plated and served, I could tell M. was not loving the lasagna. He ate very slowly, kind of pushing the meat and noodles apart. I finally asked him if he wanted me to make him something else. "No," he said, "it's just a little too garlicky for me." Well, there was no garlic in my lasagna even though the recipe called for it. I always skip the onions and garlic because M. doesn't like them and I am prone to get heartburn from them. I told him so, and he said, "Well, it has that kind of taste to me." I think he was tasting my overdose of parsley flakes with no mozzarella to temper them. So my long awaited lasagna went down the disposal and mozzarella and Parmesan cheese made it onto my shopping list for next time.

Another little weekend blunder was my Saturday morning shopping experience. I rarely do any shopping that is not online. Pretty much the only time I do enter a store is when we need household items, which we put off as long as possible, so I very rarely go shopping in actual stores. Amazon.com and Oldnavy.com are my BFFs!

Anyway, I was in high spirits Saturday morning. I got up, had my breakfast of Schwan french toast sticks with sliced bananas and a glass of milk, watched the past week's episode of Top Chef, and then cleaned our bathrooms, did several loads of laundry, and did a deep clean on the Littermaid - that is a nasty job! So, feeling pretty good about my morning of housework, I decided I would go to the library and then go to a local craft/hobby store. The main purpose of the trip to the craft/hobby store was to get a fillable cookbook so I could keep all my favorite recipes together in one place and also easily port them up to my parents' house in June so I can wow them with my wonderful cooking.

Now, I did not want any old binder or notebook. I wanted a fillable cookbook with a stand so I could prop it up on my counter top while cooking. I thought surely this store would have something like that. But alas, they did not. The trip was not a total waste since they did have decorative glass 50% off and I needed some glass containers because I am planning to make some terrariums (M. had no idea what a terrarium was when I told him that I planned on making some). So I have some containers.

Not giving up, I also went to a local bookstore thinking they absolutely would have the cookbook I wanted, might be a little more expensive than the craft/hobby store, but they would have some. Actually, no, they do not have any. So poo, I am now going to have to look for some kind of binder or something. In any case, I do need to get some of those index cards that I have not used since high school... This likely means another venture into a local store which will heighten my social/crowd anxiety... and create a snarky post for another day. I will keep everyone updated on my search for the perfect cookbook since I know you are all dying to know about that!

Early Snark for this week:
I've mentioned that our company had to downsize in the recent past. Well, this left an overabundance of office supplies hanging out in our supply closet. My highlighter ran out of inkiness this morning so I went to the supply closet. There were no new highlighters of the kind I just tossed in my wastebasket. There were however, several different kinds of used highlighters in the supply closet, including one of the kind I just tossed. Well, you might think, problem solved! Actually no. I have a love of office supplies. I love setting up and reorganizing my office - at work and home. However, this has a stipulation. I love brand new office supplies. I abhor using used office supplies. Because of the downsizing and financial crunch I will be reduced to using the half used and abandoned supplies in the closet or I will have to resort to buying my own supplies, but that means going to a store, and well, I already snarked about that.

Also, I wish for bossman to think about revisions he writes before he has me do them. I do not enjoy doing 4-5 revisions of the same document when those revisions usually mean adjusting just a few words each time...

Warm Snarky - on the RIGHT day

I just wanted to say 'Happy, Happy Birthday' to MH. Hope you have a super duper day! Did you have a big birthday bash since you have to work on your actual birthday?

picture by SaphiraTamina-Elric

Not Snarky Enough?

Apparently I have not been snarky enough for some readers (RR I am staring at you through the office walls!) I have a bit of the seasonal affect disorder, so as the weather gets nicer, my mood is prone to improvements as well and we've had some very nice springy weather here the past couple days. Of course, there was an earthquake and aftershock in there, but that was my first ever earthquake and it hit around 4:30am - I didn't quite know what was going on. Neither did my cats who had fits and furiously ran for wherever they like to hide. I couldn't even find Luigi after the rumbling stopped, but he showed up for his breakfast, so I guess he's okay, brains weren't shook too much. It is starting to cloud up outside my office window and is supposed to be rainy and cooler this weekend, so the snark may be back in full force soon, we'll have to wait and see...

I am in a spring-cleaning, purgey kind of mood this afternoon, so my office has become more minimalist and the office supply closet has been getting overloaded as well as the recycling bins. Also, I decided to give up on the NaBloPoMo thing. Most days I have at least one post in me (sometimes two or three), but this every day thing is not for me. I do intend to work more on my creative side, so look for more posts like the one the other day featuring my furry felines - and when I post stuff like that feel free to tell me how much you love, love, love it. ;)

I guess since this is a snarky blog, I could snark about an incident from this morning. I was quietly working on some work when RR came and exclaimed, "What happened to your eye?! You don't have pink eye, do you?" I told her nothing was wrong with it, it was fine, didn't even hurt. A crowd of coworkers then appeared to gawk at my eye and RR insisted on taking a picture of the eye. My eye is a little irritated from the new contacts I got yesterday, but truthfully, it doesn't hurt and no conjunctive-whatever-it-is, so not pink eye.

Oh, and if you're going to turn and there is a turn lane, please maneuver your entire vehicle into the turn lane. Sticking half in and half out of the turn lane does not help me - you get the 'big eye roll'. Thank you.

Cattitude

This was a template challenge from Sunshine Studio Scraps - take the template, make a layout and post. Here's my 'Cattitude' layout.
background paper, paper behind the 'meow,' and swirl paper from Shauna Burke-Smith
'Cattitudes' text and paper in upper square from Epson.com CreativeZone

That in which I am (dare I say it) WRONG

I like to be right and hate to be wrong (but the wrong thing never happens, right?). Even though I am so right almost all the time, there are those moments when I am reminded that not everyone, not even I, can be right all the time (I just come very, very close).

One of those moments was yesterday during one of our office's wonderful <insert snarky sarcasism here> meetings. Last week I had gotten a tad frustrated and sent out an email that basically said, "Don't do this anymore, it creates more work for me and shouldn't you know not to do this anyway?!" Then in our meeting yesterday this was brought up as a topic of discussion and low and behold, I was wrong. Yes, the way I thought this particular thing was supposed to be done is not the way to do it. Egg on my face and I get the big eye roll from myself (and perhaps some coworkers - although if this is the case they were nice enough to do it behind my back).

Plus, AB gets a warm snarky because I was all finger pointy and "don't do that" and I was in the wrong. Plus, AB has been dealing with a particularly tough client situation.

RR needs a warm snarky too, just because she's RR and uses words like "pithy" which I enjoy.

MH - warm snarky to you too for the ride to pick up my finicky car yesterday.

M. gets a warm snary too for throwing me a bone and commenting on my Olivia photos of which I am so proud.

So, in summary, big eye roll for me, warm snarkies all around!

Gee, Thanks Alot!

Well, I am simply overwhelmed by the gracious responses to my requests for subjects since I am taking a photography course. Here's a couple:

M. "Negative!"
KE "Eek!"

Well blah! It's a portrait class and all I have to take pictures of it cats. This gets a big snark to all my "real life" readers. No more warm snarkies here! By the way, did anyone enjoy the lovely Olivia?

In other not so exciting news, work sucks today so I decided to take a short breather and headed over to Mental Floss where there was a list of famous ducks. One was Ping from the children's book The Story About Ping. We had this book in our house when I was growing up and I loved it.

And here's a video of a hedgehog spitting something all over itself. I had two of these animals as pets when I was in high school.

Sorry, that's all I've got right now...

Documentary v. Interpretive Photos

I am taking a photography class called Art That Happens to be Your Life. For this week's lesson we are developing our critical eye and focusing on documentary photos versus interpretive photos. Usually I would try to watch the lesson video and read through the handouts over the weekend to have some time to work on my assignment, but since the flu hit me this weekend, I used M.'s game time to work on this week. Our assignment was to post two photos of the same subject: one documentary and one interpretive. Since I don't have a lot of subjects to work with around here - M. and a couple cats, I decided to look through photos I've already taken and selected two of a little girl I used to babysit for. So I give you Olivia - documentary and interpretive.

Since I lack an array of subjects at home maybe I will need to start taking my camera to work and doing some assignments there? That happens to be a big chunk of my life... Perhaps a few well-meaning coworkers will raise their hands and volunteer? I know you're out there... Stop by my office and tell me you'd love for me to photograph you! M. - you are going to have not be camera shy!!

An Engineer's Guide to Cats...

... or basically how our Clyde and Luigi get treated too! Watch this entertaining video!

We only have two cats, but there are some very striking similarities with the three cats in this video. Clyde is colored like a fuzzy Oscar and Ginger, but is built more like Zoe. Behaviorally, he is also more like Zoe - he is our marathon lounger. However, like Ginger, Clyde is also an awesome dancer - he really enjoys something with a heavy bass beat. Luigi has more energy and would most resemble Oscar in deconstructive art. You should see the Luigi art work on our walls!


We also employ the corporal cuddling method of punishment. M. doesn't use the kisses, but otherwise his method is the same. I do use the kisses, but not during corporal cuddling. Clyde is a pretty good yodeler too!

I hope you enjoyed this little bit of cat humor. Good night!

Warm Snarkies *EDIT*

I initially called this post 'Shout Outs,' but that seemed too cheerleaderish for me, so decided to do 'Warm Snarkies' instead. Enjoy!

I wanted to do this first warm snarky on Saturday, when my timing would have been right on, but if you read my previous post from today, you know I was asleep...

I just wanted to say 'Happy, Happy Birthday' to MH. Hope you had a super duper day! I would have been all over making you some cute little card or other paperart this weekend, but you know, when you get the flue for the first time in 12 years, it's pretty much all you can concentrate on. Do anything fun or special? Save this warm snarky for another day...

Second warm snarky out goes to AB down the hall. From the chatter I've picked up in the hall (and I pick up a lot from where my office is), you're having a rough day with a client who should have done some pre-planning. Hope that all gets sorted out for you. Leave it here when you leave the office tonight so you're entire day and evening are not ruined.

You gals are both great - had to do a quick post for you! Where did the nasty little snark go anyway?!

PS - A very warm snarky to M. for reasons mentioned in previous post.

Back from the depths of the dreaded flu

I never get a flu shot. M. gets on about every year, which is fine. I'm not opposed to flu shots, but since you can get sick from them and they don't guarantee to stop the flu from entering your body and wreaking havoc, and because I don't remember ever really having the flu except for one time when I was a sophomore in high school and that lasted for half a day, I just don't get a flu shot. Well, welcome back flu, it's been a long, long time since I've seen you.

I worked in our office attic for a few hours last Friday. I am not good in heat (I get physically sick if I get too hot) and that attic gets hot. Anticipating it would be warm up there even though the outside temp was only in the 60's, I went up early. I'm moving boxes and going through them and deciding what we can pitch to make more room for client file storage. Oh the joys of sorting through boxes from the late 90's (and some of them haven't been touched since they were hauled up there, so you can imagine the dust and grime).

Anyway, I started feeling a little questionable after a short period of time up there, but thought I would stick it out, make sure I drink lots of water, dug out a fan. Around 11am I decided it might help if I got out of the attic and had some lunch. So I went to lunch (later that turned out to be a big mistake). I thought I felt better after lunch, so I went back into the attic armed with a super-sized drink to maintain hydration. After about half an hour I knew it wasn't going to be good. I went back down and did some work in my office, felt a bit better, and decided to have one more go at that attic. I had nearly two shelves done when I knew this was not going well, so I headed back down, cleaned up my workspace and told my supervisor I was gone for the day.

I went home, still thinking this was just some heat exhaustion, but once home I ended up spending the afternoon in the bathroom, on the floor, getting to know my toilet pretty well. Once I had emptied myself, took a nap in my whirlpool tub, and generally did nothing until M. got home and I was still feeling sick, I knew this was more than regular heat exhaustion. I was sick, sick. And I usually do not get sick, sick. Sure, I may take half a day off for those monthly cramps, but other than that, I usually don't take time off for sick. Further proof I was sick, sick, I probably spent no more than 10 hours awake from 2pm Friday until this morning.

Even though I could complain about things M. does and nit pick away at his little eccentricities, he was absolutely wonderful this weekend! He took care of me (even though that couldn't have been too big a job since I was asleep most of the time). He took care of the cats (much bigger job since they are spoiled and demanding). He took care of the laundry (all by himself without asking for my advice on sorting, cycles, etc.). He scooped the cat box (yes, falls in with caring for the cats, but this deserves it's own accolade). He went and picked up some $5 foot-longs when I felt I could actually eat something and keep it down. He's a very special person, that M.!

So today I'm not feeling 100%, but it's mainly just the muscle aches. Tonight is M.'s online gaming night with a friend who lives up north, so I will probably soak my flu-battered body in a warm tub. I knew that upgrade to the whirlpool tub when we built our house would be worth it!

Here's to hoping it will be another 12 years before I deal with the flu again!

A Snake! A Snake!

Dear M.,

I know you don't like those creepy, crawling reptiles. Every time we're watching NatGeo or Discovery and a snake is featured you give a little shutter and scrunch up your face.

I personally have always kinda liked snakes. Where I grew up we had these really cute bright green grass snakes. They were itty bitty and I would catch them and let them curl around my finger like a ring. They don't have any teethies, but these little buggers would open their mouths are me like they had the most ferocious fangs in there. They were probably this variety:

Photo by Dave Angell

Smooth Green Grass Snake

(Opheodrys vernalis)

Smooth green snakes, also known as green grass snakes, are bright green with a white chin and belly. Their long narrow mouths give them a smiling appearance.: They are gentle snakes and have not been known to bite or defend themselves when handled.
These snakes are seldom seen due to their camouflage which blends in with their grassy habitat.
Smooth green snakes feed on grasshoppers, caterpillars, spiders, insects and earthworms.

I don't know about the "...have not been known to ...defend themselves when handled." Sure seemed like the ones I caught were pretty pissed off and at least wished they had scary fangs and that menacingly jabbing their heads at me would make me see those imaginary fangs...

Anyway, even though I do not share your fear and dislike of snakes, it seems the people over at Mental Floss have found some good reasons for Indiana Jones (and you) to be scared of them. I remember watching something about the Australia invasion on one of those nature stations. maybe you want to move to Ireland? There are no snakes there...

I miss those little green grass snakes. Maybe I can catch one when I go visiting in June. Think they'll let me board a plane with one? Maybe if we purchase a seat for the little guy? He could be your newest best friend!

Oh well, love ya anyway!

Love,
LilSeed

OfficeView Pro 3.11 - A reality check?

At our office we use spiffy nifty little program called OfficeView Pro 3.11 to help determine if people are in the office, and if they are in, are they available to take calls, answer questions, help others, bitch at, nag, etc.

OfficeView could also be used as a reality check for what is happening in our office over the past few months - we're shrinking. And no, it's not because of all the rain. Silly readers, our office does not melt like the Wicked Witch of the West. It's due to the dreaded downsizing.

When I started working here about 4 years ago, all the employees had offices on the first floor and all the employees' names fit on the OfficeView display without having to resize or scroll. Oh, the simplicity of popping that thing up and getting everyone's status at a glance! But then we started growing and rapidly over the next 2 years OfficeView became a monster and you had to do all sorts of resizing and scrolling to be able to see what everyone was up to. Oh the scrolling created so much work!

But then our business took a huge nosedive and we had to financially scale back. This meant people lost their jobs. In once case, a person who had been here about 6-7 years lost her job and I think she took it as a betrayal... In any case, we were now shrinking. OfficeView once again because manageable, but at the same time it is sort of depressing. Now we long again for the days of resizing and scrolling.

Also, if you take a look at today's OfficeView display below, you will see even in our depleted state, we have only about half of the employees in at 10:30am. Belch! I want to set my OfficeView status to 'In, But Unavailable.' I want this to be my status forevermore - but then where would annoying 'I registered my cell phone!' get all her information? Who would she bother? Actually, I would like to permanently set myself as 'Out,' but then would the entire agency implode? One wonders....

To M.

Dear M.,

You're going to Radiohead!! Can you believe after all these years waiting for them to tour again that you've actually got tickets to see them?

I remember trying to get you tickets several years ago when they played in Atlanta (can it be that we've been married long enough for me to say 'several years?!') I even had your cousin trying to help me get those darn tickets and it just didn't work out. But this time? This time we have two confirmed seats for the concert!

You owe me (snark, snark, snark). I guess you going with me on July 19th will be compensation... Well, I'm off to request the day after the concert off so we aren't dead on our feet the next day. See you for lunch!

XOXOXOX

Love,
LilSeed

PS - SHMILY!

Frame Challenge From Sunshine Studio Scraps

Sunshine Studio Scraps is holding another challenge. Criteria is to use three different frames. So I did the following featuring my nephew Fisher.

Credits:

• background paper is blue sky by Moon Scraps
• frames, snowflakes, tassel, and tag by Jeanie Baechtold (from her "Brisk" set available at ComputerScrapbook.com)
• index card by Shauna Burke-Smith of Pineapple Plantation
• fonts used: St. Nicholas and Arial Rounded MT Bold
  

Also, I was chosen as one of the winners of the previous color challenge!

Self-Diagnosis: NPD

Dear Everyone Who Knows Me In Real Life:

How many of you think of me as a nice person? Go ahead, raise your hands... hmmm... I have a confession for you if you raised your hand - you're wrong. I've been thinking about myself today (which will feed into this entire letter/post), and I figured something out. I may like to do nice things, but why do I do them? Mainly because I enjoy the attention it brings me.

I have a limited store of "nice." This is because I can only do so many nice things and then it gets old to me and the store has to refill. Being nice is exhausting to me. It uses a lot of my energy. I am not a naturally nice person, I have to work at it. That's why this is the Snark Chronicles and not the Miss Nicey Pants Chronicles.

I decided to do a little self analysis. I've self diagnosed myself as having "Narcissistic Personality Disorder," or NPD. The all-knowing Wikipedia give the following definition of NPD

a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy

A subject has to fit at least 5 of 9 indicators to have NPD. Any guesses which 6 I attribute to myself? M. could probably guess with good accuracy. Also, NPD afflicts about 1% of the general population - awesome possum! I'm in an elite group!

Oh, and just FYI - I have a bit of "nice" right now. Any takers? It won't last long...

Yours Truly,
LilSeed

PS - I am quietly adoring myself in my office today, please do not stop by and interrupt me. Thank you.

Get ready for dinner parties and sexy beards

Who missed me? Oh, you didn't notice I didn't post over the weekend? Maybe you didn't miss me. That's okay. I spent the weekend sleeping off cramps and steam cleaning my living room floor. M. is the official picker upper of wet cat hair the steam cleaner sucks up and deposits on the top of the carpet. We could probably make a new kitten out of the amount of hair that thing sucks up. Now doesn't that sounds like a weekend in heaven?

This post once a day for a whole month thing (NaBloPoMo) is kicking my butt this month. Workdays, easy peasy. Who wouldn't rather post than work? Weekends? Sleeping usually sounds better than posting. It's probably because most of my material comes from the office. Oh, that reminds me, The Office is back this week with an all new episode!! Get ready for Michael and Jan's dinner party. Dwight was not invited... Also, who thinks Ryan looks sexy with his new beard (well, it was new last season, or was that the beginning of this season? I can no longer tell since the writer's strike interrupted everything) . Anyway, tune in this Thursday for dinner parties and sexy beards. If you've never watched The Office, get the DVD's of the first three seasons and catch up! If you like my blog you will love The Office. Now that is a ringing endorsement!

Since I have no witty letter to post today (at least not yet...) here are some things that might entertain you this morning:

• Expressions by Ree the Pioneer Woman. Ree is one of my favorite bloggers right now. Her posts are funny, her photos are great, and she has some darn good recipes - just ask M. He has been amazed by my cooking lately and most of it is thanks to Ree!
• Spacesuit or swimsuit? That is the question posed by this article on forecast earth. Maybe it could be called the "Highlight those genitals" suit?
• Ewww - how dirty is your cell phone? Mine isn't too bad because I almost never use it. But here's an interesting video about all the bacteria living on your mobile device. The guy in the blue and white striped shirt is kinda cute, in a slightly dorky way. The bathroom scene reminds me of someone in my office... what's growing on his phone? Yucky!
• Maybe weekends off from my blog are a good thing (even though I have yet to earn any money from this blog..) Be careful how much you blog!
• One last thing, my new favorite digital scrapping site is Scrap Orchard. They've been having some 'freebee' giveaways the past week and some challenges to celebrate their grand opening. I did a few layouts this weekend to participate and plan to do another one tonight. Check out the gallery and see if you can find my lovely postings. I even used human subjects instead of my favorite furries.

Lists was the March NaBloPoMo theme. Not only is April kicking my butt, I am reverting to March. Oh well, I am allowed a few crazy days a month, right?

Shameful...

To the local cosmetic surgery place:

I heard your advertisement on the radio the other morning. I am disgusted by your new target: sensitive parents who worry their child may not be a beauty queen or the best looking boy in class.

Yes, some children need cosmetic surgery to correct some kind of deformity (birth, accident-related, etc.), however this not what you speak to in your commercial. You instead tell parents that they can get their children "fixed" and "pageant ready" and they can now do it as early as 2 months old. I shudder to think of the parent who hear this commercial, look at their baby lying in his or her crib, and thinks, "hmm, you could look better... let's get you ready for those pageants!"

The parents who would take advantage of your services just to pretty up their child also disgust me, however, local cosmetic surgery place, you are perpetuating the problem by advertising the way you do.

I hope that due to your poor choice and tactless advertising that your business drops. I hope you never get a 2 month old child in your office because they are not "pageant ready." I hope you feel ashamed.

Sincerely,
LilSeed

Alert, Alert! I registered my CELL PHONE!!

Dear Coworker,

When our boss sent out an email proclaiming everyone must register their cell phones with the no call list or they would be plagued by telemarketers I tried to do the responsible thing by finding the accurate information and providing the information to said boss. Little did I know that it would be forwarded to the entire office and you would go into panic mode.

Coworker, I sincerely regret ever sending out accurate information that is beyond your comprehension. I did not realize that it would result in a ten minute phone call trying to explain to you that no, it does not matter if you did register your cell phone with the no call list, you just don't have to.

No, the email originally sent out by our boss is not a hoax, per se. It is a mass hysteria email that got started when the mention of a national cell phone directory got out. This caused people to think, "Oh no! My cell phone number will be published and every telemarketer in the world will call me at dinner time!" This started the emails, but what the email doesn't tell you is that you need to opt-in to the cell phone directory. Without opting in, your cell phone is not going to be published and those telemarketers will not be able to reach you because you know what? They won't have your number!!

Please refer to these websites that I conveniently included in the email bossman forwarded and you apparently did not check out before panicking and calling me: Federal Trade Commission: The Truth about Cell Phones and the National Do Not Call Registry and Snopes.com: Celling Your Soul.

"But LilSeed," you say, "you are the queen of all knowledge." I know dear coworker, and the ten minute call this afternoon probably would not have bothered me if you didn't make similar calls to me at least three times a week about everything under the sun.

Perhaps sometime we could sit down and I could give you a lesson or two on who to call when and how to do some 'net research yourself. Give me a call some time and we can set that up. Or on second thought, don't call me - I will call you.

Sincerely,
LilSeed

Clyde and Luigi Demand This

This is the house belonging to Rachel Hunter's dogs. Shhh, don't tell Cly and Lu - they would certainly demand a beautiful villa like this for themselves, well, one each. Cly certainly would not share a villa with Luigi given the choice. And you know what, if the price was reasonably in my budget I would buy them this villa... What spoiled boys they are!

Mother Freak Out

Dear Mom,

Please do not leave a voice mail on my cell phone saying you will email if you're not going to email. I waited for three days to get your email and nothing came. Then, you called me at work. You've never called me at work before - not in my entire life. Needless to say, my heart jumped into my throat and in the two seconds it took for the receptionist to transfer your call to my phone a dozen possibilities ran through my mind. Did dad's prostate cancer come back? Did grandpa have a heart attack? Was J. in a car accident? Plus a bunch of others. And what did you call for? To see if I would like for you and dad to buy me a plane ticket to come visit this summer. Hell yeah, you can buy me a plane ticket! But did you have to give me a minor coronary event at the same time?

Sure, I could have emailed you, but you said you would email me. Sure, I could have given you a phone call, but I hate, hate, hate talking on the phone. Please, next time just leave a more detailed message or email me!

Love,
LilSeed

Sunshine Challenge #2

STILL no winner announcement in that contest I entered. So, I decided to enter a different contest on another digital scrapbooking website - Sunshine Studio Scraps. This was their second challenge (I didn't do the first) and the goal was to utilize a predetermined color palette (shown below). Here's my entry featuring Clyde!

Entrance to Hell

Who knew it was in Russia? Hey, I work with a Russian!

Okay, Google Got Me (briefly)

There was a new link at the top of my Gmail screen today. It said Gmail had a new feature. Well, cool, I'm all up for new features. So I clicked the link to New! Gmail Custom Time. I read the article about how I can now "be on time every time" by using Gmail Custom Time to set any date and time on my emails, at least as far back as April 1, 2004 (and no, that did not tip me off, I kept reading...).

I thought to myself how cool this was. I could send emails and they would appear to be from whatever day and time I wanted. Then I got to the part where it said each user could only do this 10 time because doing this more than 10 times would cause people to lose faith in the accuracy of time (now I'm thinking...).

Hmmm, that seemed strange to me. Why offer a cool new feature that I can use only 10 times?! Oh yeah, it's April 1st. So I emailed M.

P.S. - I did not read the Beta User Testimonials until I was writing this post and went to the page to link back to it. Funny stuff! Thanks, Google! This one is my fav, M. is anxiously waiting for Radiohead tickets to go on sale at a location near us,

"I just got two tickets to Radiohead by being the 'first' to respond to a
co-worker's 'first-come, first-serve' email. Someone else had already won them,
but I told everyone to check their inboxes again. Everyone sort of knows I used
Custom Time on this one, but I'm denying it."
Robby S., Paralegal

Digi-Scrap Masquerade

Okay, still no winner announcement in that contest I entered. But their site is finally up so I was able to grab my layout images to post on my blog. There were six challenges and we had one week to create a layout based on the challenge and get it posted to the challenge gallery (except for the 1st challenge, we had two weeks for that one). The contest was hosted by Digital Candy. If you're interested, you can get the lowdown on the contest here. And the gallery designated for the contest is here.

Standard Equipment

Dear Fellow Drivers,

Did you know your car comes with some amazing standard equipment? From my road time experiences, it is obvious some of you do not. Let me introduce you to this little beauty: the turn signal. You might also know the turn signal as "blinkers," "flashers," "indicators," or "that little stick sticking out of the steering wheel."

Since this has been included on cars since the 1920's in some form or another, your car should be equipped with a turn signal. Did you know that this little device will let the other drivers around you that are not clairvoyant know when you are going to make a turn! Wow!

Since most vehicles have this handy dandy feature sticking out of the left side of the steering column all you need to do is reach over there and give it a little push to activate it when you feel like making your vehicle go right or left. Once activated, lights will flash on the front and the back of your vehicle so those other drivers around you will know you are going to turn. NOTE: you will also see little flashy arrows on your dash, so you too will know you are turning!

This means when we both stop at a four-way stop and I am waiting for you to go straight because of lack of turn signal, you could reach down and flip that sucker on and I would know you are going to turn and not go straight!

Also, at the pesky two-way stop on my way home that crosses a major highway, I've seen a plethora of fellow drivers make left turns without bothering to use their turn signal. Perhaps you just didn't know that your care is equipped with this handy dandy device? Well, in any case, you do have one, so please, to avoid a good number of accidents that occur at this particular intersection, reach over there and flip that sucker on! Your left turn needs not be a secret any more!

I know that the use of your turn signal may interrupt other driving activities, such as smoking, applying makeup, eating, etc., but it would be such a huge favor to me if you would just use that darn thing, especially now that I have written to make you aware of this standard equipment on your vehicle. For further reference, you could always pull your vehicle's manual out of your glove box, or contact your vehicle's manufacturer.

Sincerely,
LilSeed