Leap into March - NaBloPoMo starts TOMORROW!!

So today's leap year day. I am using it as a spring board for NaBloPoMo which starts tomorrow. Remember, there will be themes for each month, but no obligation to follow the themes. I am choosing to try out the themes as an extra challenge to the posting each day for a month challenge of NaBloPoMo. I figured I needed an added challenge since I've thus far been pretty prolific on this blog. So my list-writing skills are in full gear and ready to participate!

Also, M. and I are waiting to see if M.'s sister has her soon-to-be-born baby today. Will we have a leap year baby in our family? We will know by the end of today. Yesterday M. said his sis's doctor said she could go at any time now. This will be her fifth child and our eighth niece or nephew, so the shiny newness of a new baby has worn off for me, but hey! Maybe we will have a leap year baby!

How can something that smells like old wet leaves taste GOOD?

I've always been a tea lover. My dad is a tea drinker and he is the one who started me on tea. Green tea is my favorite, but I've recently discovered a few white tea varieties I am partial to.

I traveled to China in 2005 (job-related trip). But while there I bought myself some tea to bring home. Up until my trip I had always bought tea that came in those lovely little meshy bags - the TEA BAG! But in China most of the tea I came across was loose-leaf. So I wanted to venture out, but procrastinated once home with my China tea. I didn't have the equipment at home to brew me some loose-leaf tea, and put off getting out and buying one of those tea ball thingys.

Only recently did I actually purchase a tea ball. This was prompted because I wanted some jasmine tea and couldn't find any in our local supermarkets. I finally found some at Target, but it was the dreaded LOOSE-LEAF! So I bought the tea ball to brew my jasmine tea. Loved it!

I also drink tea all day at work - have some in my big 22oz. mug right now. I decided I had to be able to drink loose-leaf tea at work too. But a tea ball at work? No, no. I needed something fancier than that. So I headed on over to Amazon.com (I love to shop online, not so much in actual stores). There I found a lovely tea brewing thingy that came with 4 small canisters of green tea to sample. The thing is made by Adagio Teas and you can check it out here.

If you looked at the Adagio tea thing on Amazon, you might have noticed that it says that selection of sample teas you receive may vary. Mine did - I did not get the white monkey I was so looking forward to! (not really, never heard of white monkey tea...) I did get green pekoe, kukicha, citron green, and genmai cha.

I have tried all four varieties and liked all but one. I tried the citron green first which had a nice citrus-y smell to it - mmmm. That one is my favorite of the four followed by the green pekoe and kukicha. Genmai Cha - not so good. I actually had to go online and look this tea up on Amazon before I would drink it. When I poured it into my tea brewing thingy it looked like there were little brown worms in it. When I looked up the tea I realized that the brown worms were popped rice. Here's the genmai cha description from Amazon:

Green tea from Japan that is the snap, crackle, pop of teas. Genmai Cha is an exotic Japanese recipe that combines popped rice and corn with tender and delicate green tea leaves. First used by peasants as a cost-saving measure,our Genmai Cha Pop tea is now equally popular with modern urbanites. Both groups enjoy a refreshing cup thats both sweet and nutty.

After finding out there were not worms hiding in my tea sample, I went ahead and brewed some to try it out. Apparently my tastes are too refined for the Japanese peasant tea. I did not like it. I have heard good things about gunpowder tea, despite the off-putting name. I think that might be the next tea I try. I will also order some more of the delightful citron green.

Today I am drinking the green pekoe. As I was brewing my second cup (reusing the tea leaves from the first cup since it seems I can get two good cups out of each batch of leaves) I thought to myself, "This smells like old wet leaves." Yet once it was done brewing, I had nice, tasty green tea. Good thing I don't work off smell alone!

Infinitely Crabby

Do you ever have those days when you are just irritable? (not due to period, just got the yucks) M. always tells me I'm crabby when I'm irritable, that a crab crawled up my ass and I need to remove him. Today I am infinitely crabby - must be a whole army of crabs up there!

People are grating on my nerves. I'm having those "why don't you get it?!" moments. Why can't everyone just be of one mind? - MY MIND

The Science of Vampires

Yesterday I finished reading I Am Legend by Richard Matheson. Originally published in the mid-90's, the book was recently made into a film starring Will Smith. That is how I first heard of this tale - the movie previews. I saw the movie first which is something I do not like doing. I prefer to read the book first, but since I did not know it was a book prior to seeing the movie, I didn't have that option. I liked the movie, M. did not. The ending ruined it for him, which is what usually happens when he sees a movie - if the ending doesn't happen the way he wanted he doesn't like the movie.

Anyway, since I did like the movie, I decided to read the book. For me, the book was just okay. Some reviews have said that the Will Smith version of the film (apparently it the book had been adapted to film twice before) most closely followed the book version. Hmmm, if that was the closest interpretation, the others must have been quite a bit off, but anyway...

The one feature that was in both the book and the film that I appreciated was that Robert Neville, the main character, gets into the nitty gritty of why a vampire is a vampire and why certain methods of killing and repelling them works. As a fan of both the horror genre and research, this appealed to me quite a bit. What makes a vampire tick? I won't ruin the details for those who have not ventured out to the movie or curled up with the book - just wanted to mention that was the best part for me.

While M. didn't like the ending of the movie, I didn't like the ending of the book. Again, no spoilers here, but the book left me feeling there had to be more to Robert Neville's life, but there wasn't. In any case, neither the book nor the movie are going to rate in any of my "top whatever" lists, but both were interesting in the way of the science of vampires.

The Mr. Obvious Post

I'm not a big fan of the radio show Bob and Tom, but M. is. Over the years M. has shared clips from the show he has found particularly funny. One that always sticks in my mind is from their Mr. Obvious routine. This clip was about a guy who called into Mr. Obvious about an animal living under his sink. This animal made growling noises at him. In the end Mr. Obvious tells the caller he has a garbage disposal and that is his under sink animal. When I first heard this clip I laughed so hard I cried.

I had a Mr. Obvious moment this morning with a coworker. About a month ago I rearranged my office. This was no small office overhaul - I changed everything. This morning a coworker came into my office and asked, "Did you change your office?" I politely told her that I had, that my desk used to be "over there" (pointing). She told me it looked nice, I thanked her. She then went up to a French message board I have on the wall (a very large board covered with a Chinese silk fabric) and asked if I made it. I didn't, a different coworker made it for me, and I told her so. I've had that message board hanging in my office for well over a year - she's just now noticing!

I know, I know, no biggie, but it made me think back to Mr. Obvious on Bob and Tom. Also, for some reason this particular coworker has had the knack of annoying me lately. Thought I would share.

NaBloPoMo

I just joined National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) this morning. I think this will fit in nicely with my new blog goals. The idea is that every day for a month you have to post something to your blog. There will also be themes to follow, if you want to. I am all about themes, so will probably try to keep up with those as well as the daily post.

The first NaBloPoMo month will kick off March 1st and the theme will be "lists." I'm not a big list person, so this might be a bit of a challenge, but I look forward to it! If you're a blogger check out the NaBloPoMo website and consider joining in the fun!

His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman

I accidentally posted this while making some edits the other day. Since the post still had the date of when I originally started working on it, it kind of got lost in my archives. I've moved it up a bit. Warning: a lot of people will not agree with my ideas in this post, but please do not take offense, these are just my thoughts and ideas, not something I impose on others.

This weekend I finished reading The Amber Spyglass, the third book in the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman. I read the first two books (The Golden Compass and The Subtle Knife) months ago. I had never heard of this trilogy or the religious controversy surrounding it until the movie based on the first book came out late last year. That peaked my interest.

I enjoyed the entire trilogy and did not necessarily find any of the content of the books - obvious or implied - to be offensive to my beliefs. But then again, my beliefs are not conventional. I was raised as a Lutheran, however we were not strict church-goers. My siblings and I attended more Sunday school than actual church worship sessions. I enjoyed Sunday school, I attended church when my parents did, I did not have any misgivings about what I was being taught, however I did not feel any strong convictions towards believing in what I was taught either.

Then I entered college where I took courses on philosophy, mythology, etc. I found the teaching during these courses to be more on par with questions I had had about the Christian teachings I was raised with. There seemed to lie answers in these teachings that Christianity did not give me. So I revised what I believed.

I rarely talk about my religious beliefs (or lack of) because most people where I live would be outraged - how could I believe anything other than in the Christian God and Holy Trinity?! Yet, I do. I will not go into specifically what I do believe in this post, but just wanted to mention I don't have the same reaction as many do to the religious aspects of Philip Pullman's trilogy. I am sure there are many people out there that also do not have an "all that writing is anti-religion, let it be condemned" reaction, however most of the media has concentrated on this type of reaction.

I had heard of the movie based on the first book, but did not know much about it. I started looking into it more and more after hearing a little girl in the book section of a local store say to her father, "I am not going to read that book - the author wants to kill God!" She pointed to The Golden Compass. This made me interested. What did the little girl mean by that statement? How did she know the author wanted to "kill God?"

I did not do any research on the books until after I completed reading all three. I wanted to read them without media-induced preconceived notions. I had heard little bits and pieces here and there, but mostly did not pay much attention and entered Pullman's writing with an open mind. And I liked what I read. True these are books written for children (Amazom.com gives an age range of "young adult" which would probably mean preteen to teenagers?), however some of the themes in the books are quite advanced for young minds.

As I did begin to read more online about Philip Pullman and his books, I began to identify somewhat with his ideas. In an email interview with Pullman posted on FilmChat Pullman compares the Magisterium in the books as an example of how humans will use "one size fits all" answers. That struck me because in essence, that is how I view Christianity.

Pullman goes on to state he is a materialist. I have never really defined myself as an "ist" or "ism" because I my belief system is still evolving, but I find the idea of panpsychism (a word I had never heard before) interesting. Pullman also states that he doesn't refer to spiritual because spiritual or spiritualism does not make sense to him - on his views in this regard I also agree with him. However, let me qualify this with the statement that I do not begrudge anyone their beliefs. I am perfectly content that each person in this world can have their own belief system that works for their life and it is not my mission or goal to make anyone convert their beliefs to conform with my own.

Pullman also says in the interview that he did not get around to mentioning Jesus in this trilogy, but that he will in his next book and that he has a lot to say. I have a personal view of Jesus. I believe he was a real man who lived and walked on this earth. I believe he was a great speaker and inspired people. But do I believe he was the son of God and performed miracles? I do not.

The Harry Potter series comes up in the interview was well since many people have spoken out about how un-Christian those books are. Again, another series I much enjoyed, although I don't think J.K. Rowlings series evoked quite as much hoopla as "The author is trying to kill God." Or maybe I just didn't hear about it...

I like the way Pullman's books tell an interesting story, but at the same time they make me think about what I believe in and why I hold those beliefs. I was also browsing Pullman's official website and in his FAQ about himself I especially liked his answers to "What books did you like when you were young," "What inspires you," and "Who do you write for - children or adults." His answers to these questions feel very honest and I can see some of myself within them.

This turned into a long, probably unpopular post, but reading is one of the thing I love in this life and I do plan to post about what I am reading, what I liked, disliked, and how what the reading made me think about.

Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman

Has anyone out there read this book? I tried to read it a few weeks ago. It sounded like a really good book from the description on Amazon. I got about half way through the book and just couldn't finish. The writing style employed in the book was hard for me to follow. There was very limited (or may there wasn't any) use of quotations to show where dialog started and ended.

What I could gleam from the story I read verged on being good, but Aciman's writing style was just beyond me. I would love to hear others' thoughts on this particular book...

Ironic

No kids for me. My life just doesn't accommodate children. I cannot imagine having a child - birthing one, having one in my home, parenting one, being responsible for another life. So isn't ironic that Google Reader loves to recommend parenting blogs to me?

I recall at a family gathering my sister-in-law looked around the room and said, "Hey, everyone here has children." She paused and then said, while looking directly at me, "Well, almost everyone." As if I am disrupting the natural way of the world by not having any children... I am a woman therefore I shall have children?

I have no desire to have children. I look at my life as it is, what it might look like in the future, and no where in either picture do children fit in. And what is wrong with that? Why I should I feel that I've made some unholy mistake because I am happy with a childless life?

I respect those who do chose to have children. I don't always understand the deep desire many people have to have children, but I respect the fact that they do have that need. However, I wish those who do have or want to have children would allow me the same respect.

I can be happy without children. That doesn't mean I don't like children. I have several nieces and nephews and am perfectly happy to visit with them, play with them, talk with them - in small doses. I do love them. I guess Google knows I have this love of children too, even if I don't want any of my own!

I have two cats and they are like my children to me. Very self-sustained, low maintenance children! They are two of the most spoiled little furballs in the world and I love them to pieces. Those who cannot aspire to do the work of taking care of actual human children should consider the fulfilling life of cat parenthood!

Big Sigh...

Such disappointing things going on lately! Last week I was almost downsized from my job. I would love to not work, but financially, that is not an option right now. Fortunately, what I do cannot easily be farmed out to other people here, so we worked out a deal. I will be able to stay on, full-time, at my regular pay, however there are going to be some people who will not make the cut. We're having an agency meeting this afternoon - I am sure it is to discuss the future of the organization. It puts a very heavy weight on my heart. The weather outside has been miserable and gloomy for the past week and the environment in the office has matched. People know there is something going on - lots of closed door meetings and long, long executive team meetings. Maybe this meeting today will clarify what's up.

Another thing that makes my heart weary is that one of my favorite digital scrappers - someone who has shared a wealth of knowledge with the internet world and many digital freebies has been pirated. She works for an online digital shop and the stuff she created for sale there was hacked from her download account where she also had her freebies.

Today is just one big sigh! Hopefully better things to come tomorrow...

Narration

I posted this some time ago on my old blog, but it is one of my favorite posts from that blogging time.

When I was growing up my parents lived on 23 acres of land. Only about 10 acres of this was maintained as a yard, the rest was allowed to grow wild. Lots of trees, weeds, rocks, etc. I played out in the "wild" quite a bit. Probably more than I played with my toys.

When I was outside playing I would often make up stories and act them out while narrating the whole thing. I would also narrate my life as it happened. For instance, as I was preparing for bed I would think in my mind (I typically narrated only to myself), "She then cautiously crossed the darkened room to her bed. Once safely across the room she slid between the cool sheets." And so on...

I hadn't really thought about it much, but sometimes I still narrate parts of my life. I don't do it nearly as much as when I was younger, making up stories and playing outside, but every so often I catch myself still narrating in my mind. There doesn't seem to be any specific events that I narrate, usually just the mundane, routine stuff.

Does anyone else do this or am I just crazy imaginative?

Since the Beginning of Blogdom

I've always been fascinated by blogs - especially by the ones that are good. I've always wanted one of those blogs, too. I have a MySpace page where I did some blogging, but the people who were my “friends” at that particular time were mainly the ones I wanted to blog about, so not a good option.

My next attempt at a blog had some good writing, but it all seemed so negative. I didn’t want to be known, even in the internet world, as a festering vessel of negativity. So that blog went by the wayside.

Since my previously unsuccessful blogging attempts I’ve found a more positive center within myself (with the help of Prozac) and have once again ventured out into the wide world of the internet to put my thoughts out there.

I use Google Reader to track all my favorite blogs and this morning read the following quote from Erik Spiekermann's blog:

This blog has not been very active of late because I was too ambitious, trying only to publish what I thought was really relevant. From now on, no such pretense. I shall post whatever I feel like, and from wherever I'll be.

That was one of the problems I had with previous blogging attempts: trying to make all my posts deep and insightful – something the internet world would read and think, “Wow, I never thought about that in that way.” I am just going to have to give up my dream of being the deep thoughts blogger of today and write whatever is going on in my mind and if, in the that course of blogging, something deep and insightful does emerge, then all the more better.

So here is to the kingdom of Blogdom and all its wonderful explorers. May we all write what is in our hearts and minds and not give a fig about causing deep emotional reactions in our readers.

Lover vs. Beloved

I love to read. I've had a library card since I was very young and it gets lots of use! I am currently reading The Great Man by Kate Christensen. During lunch I was reading and came across an interesting idea on page 67: lover vs. beloved.

I am not going to give you a review on the book so far, but here is a little synopsis so I can explain what I am talking about. The book is about a deceased artist, Oscar Feldman. Oscar had a mistress for over forty years named Teddy. Teddy and Oscar have twin daughters and while a biographer is interviewing Teddy and one of the daughters, Ruby, Ruby describes Teddy as the "lover" in the relationship and Oscar as the "beloved." Ruby describes the lover as the one who "adores and pursues," the one who has the power in the relationship. The beloved does not want to be separate from the lover and does not have a life without them. Ruby says that her mother's lack of possessiveness over Oscar was an illusion - that Teddy controlled Oscar by giving him free rein.

This particular part of the book struck me as very true as I can see my own relationship with my husband (you can call him M.) in it. I would describe myself as the "lover" and M. as the "beloved." Not because I feel I hold all the power in the relationship - we have a fairly egalitarian marriage - however if one of us has even a slight bit more power over the other, I think I would come out on top of that one.

It is just an unspoken rule in our household that things are pretty much going to go the way I want them to. I ended up handling all the finances and how the money - M.'s paycheck included - is spent. M. has always felt that he needs to ask me before he makes a purchase, even a very small one. I've told him he doesn't have to do that, but he still does. The house is decorated according to my tastes. I do all our activity planning.

Despite this slight imbalance in power, I do see M. as having free rein over what he wants to do - the fact he defers to me is pretty much his choice. In this way I do have control over him as Teddy had control over Oscar. However, this has come about naturally in our relationship and with his consent to things being this way.

In my love to read one of the things I like most is when something I read makes me think about my own life and how it correlates with what the author is saying in whatever I am reading.

Call Me LilSeed

Hello great, big, internet world! This will be my second attempt at a blog. I tried one out some time ago in my pre-Prozac days and found it only exacerbated my angry, depressed feelings. I found the only time I felt like writing was when I was feeling a negative feeling. I am a changed person since beginning to take Prozac and want my writing to reflect that. I don't want to live my life in a negative haze!

I have found several blogs out there that I enjoy reading because the writers often affect my life in some way. It may not be a huge way, but they make me think, they make me smile, they make me feel creative. I wish to have a blog like that, but am happy just sharing with the world.

So I am back to add my musings to the internet. I hope whomever happens to stumble across my little corner of the 'net finds something interesting to read or think about (even if you don't agree with me or think I am just rambling!).

I am sure regular readers will come to learn plenty about me, but here's a short list of who I am:
-wife to M.
-mother of two fuzzies (cats)
-avid reader
-crafter (enjoy cardmaking, digital designing, very amateur sewing)
-executive assistant for a non-profit organization
-office computer whiz (much to my husband's amusement since he is a computer technician)
-one who does not desire to have human children

You can call me LilSeed.