What is snarking me out today?

bookshelf boogery: We have a small lending library where I work. I was recently put in charge of this library and have been working on cataloging everything and devising the best way to get the word out to our clients. Well, having the library physically located in the back of the office where clients do not go and shoved in a corner did not seem to me the best idea. I proposed moving it into a more client-accessible area and adding at least one additional bookshelf since the one we currently have is overflowing. Well, moving it was approved. So was the purchase of an entirely new bookshelf - one bookshelf. Our office is in "financial lock down" due to a slow in business. We've even had to lay people off because of this, yet we have to purchase an entirely new bookshelf to match the bookshelves already in the area where the library is moving. The new bookshelf arrived yesterday while I was out sick. I saw it when I came in this morning. 1) the bookshelf does not match the preexisting shelves, 2) it appears smaller than the shelf the library is currently housed on (did I not mention that I needed more space?!), and 3) we have several empty shelves just sitting around here because of the employee layoffs. One of the "higher ups" asked me this morning what I thought of the new shelf. I said, "Well, it's a bookshelf." She didn't much care for that response, but hey, she was the one I discussed my library shelf needs with. Next week's project: fitting a library that doesn't fit it's current shelf onto a smaller shelf...

rampant road rage: Most of the streets around our office have a 30 mph speed limit. Guess how fast I drive on these streets? Yep, 30 mph. How fast does the general public drive on these streets? Oh, I'd say about 45-50 mph. For those of you who rode the ass of my car today as I went to lunch, did you notice the gas prices at the several stations we passed? It's insane and only going up. Did you know driving the speed limit is not only the legal way to drive, but also a gas saver? So as you passed me in the turn only lane, I just thought to myself how nice it will be to drive for 2-3 weeks on my current tank of gas rather than 1 week. I will also continue to drive 60 mph in the interstate 70 mph zone because this also is nicer to my car and my budget. So there.

restaurant ruffians: I had an early lunch today and felt like getting out of the office for a bit. So I drove down the street (at 30 mph) to one of my favorite local eateries. I was the first one in for lunch today and had my pick of where to sit. I like to read during my lunch hour, so I chose a table out of the way and off to the side. The second group in for lunch was a lady and her two children. Where do they chose to sit? Well, the lady and her daughter sit at the table right behind me and kick my chair each time they move between the tables. Meanwhile, the son is sitting at a counter in the middle of the dining room instead of with the rest of his party, so they are shouting back and forth to each other while I am trying to concentrate on the plight of a Burmese prisoner in The Lizard Cage. No, please do not sit at any of the other empty tables in the dining room, please, please, please sit right behind me, kick my chair, and loudly discuss chip choices across the room.

impeded inquiry: I handle a good deal of our office's interactions with outside agencies and contractors. Today a coworker emailed me to see if the way to contact a previous employee-turned-contractor was the same as it had been in the past. I assumed it was since technically, the only thing that changed was this person's financial relationship with our office, but I copied one of the "higher ups" to get confirmation as I knew she would be able to give a definitive answer on the question. "Yes," she snarks back at us, "it is still the same, were you're ears shoved up your asses when we discussed that in this week's staff meeting?" Okay, those might not have been the exact words she used, but the tone was the same. Excuse us for making certain instead of obliviously sending a client off on a wild goose chase to contact this previous employee-turned-contractor.

snarky superfluity: Okay, ego check here. I am not the first snarky blogger out there. Bummer! A coworker sent me the link to Snarky Bitch yesterday, but being out sick, I did not see it until today. Ironically, this blog is about a single woman on a quest to become a mother. Now, it is not the author of Snarky Bitch that snarked me out, it is my own impertinence in thinking my Snark Chronicles was so unique. That will teach me to not Google snarky to see what other blogs might be out there before assuming I am so great. (I did Google snarky this afternoon and there are several snarky blogs out there, and some have extremely clever names that I admire, such as Snarky Malarkey.)